100 Totally Boss Baby Boy Names

Don't bother picking up one of those lame books of baby names at the grocery check out, we've got you covered. Below you'll find a list of the 100 most bad ass baby boy names ever. Now, this isn't another one of those lame "ZOMFG Celebrities Give Their Kids the Dumbest Names!!!" posts. This is all about laying down the most boss names you can give a kid. These names are guaranteed to garner respect and admiration. They are totally foolproof. Don't believe me? Think it's akin to child abuse to give a kid an unusual name? Read on and leave a comment below... unless you have a totally lame name that is...

Marmaduke Probably England's greatest contribution to nomenclature.
Jeb In honor of J.E.B. Stuart, not Jeb Bush...
Bruce Bruce is a bitchin' name. See: Bruce Campbell, Bruce Banner, Robert the Bruce, etc.
Belisarius Who wouldn't want to name their kid after the most bad ass general in all of history?
Victor It means conqueror in Latin, combine Victor and Conan together to make a legendarily awesome name.
Otto 'nuff said
Roman This one should be obvious. Romans were the shit back in the day, plus it's just a cool name.

Sanford "Oh, this is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth?! I'm coming to join you, honey!"
Tancred If you want to name your kid after an 11th Century Norman but William is too common of a name, why not go with Tancred
Belvedere All hands look out below, there's a change in the status quo.
Moses the 76ers' Savior

Major Giving your kid a title for a name is kinda ballsy, if that isn't your style but you like Major just tell people you were a fan of England's 90-97 Prime Minister.
Wesley There have been plenty of cool Wesleys, The main character from The Princess Bride, the kid from Mr. Belvedere, Wesley Snipes...
Butch This one should be self explanatory, like an onomatopoeia... but in name form
Drexel This name is old school, it conjures up images of a rugged old timer who tells awesome war stories about shit that happened 50 years ago.
Roland This name is shared by a crazy book from the Middle Ages and a nice brand of synthesizers.
Mandrake Demons and Magic Plants, pretty boss shit
Engelbert HUMPERDINCK!
Roosevelt Teddy or Franklin, take your pick.
Cletus Name of a Pope AND an Antipope! (not that there was much difference between the two, but still, it's an awesome anecdote)
Elvis Presley, Costello or Grbac, take your pick...

Bear Dudes respect other dudes named after killer animals.
Flex Part-time superhero and part-time stripper.
Thor Bonus points if you have a genetic history of blond hair and hammer wielding.
Magnum P.I. Starring Tom Selleck. Also acceptable: Higgins, Quigley
Rambo By the time your kid is old enough to be teased for this name everyone will have forgotten about the lame remake.

Brick Mortar also works, bitchin names for twins.
Coach Also exceptable: Craig T. Nelson
Chongo Bonus points if your kid is over 6 feet tall and mentally retarded.
Batman Dudes have mad respect for Bruce Wayne.
Napoleon Bonaparte or Dynamite, take your pick...
Beowulf Same deal with Rambo, by the time your kid is old enough to be teased for this name everyone will have forgotten the lame movie.
Solomon Chicks dig Old Testament names, it's true.
Dexter Dudes respect names with Xs in them.
Boss See: Major
Olaf Vikings split heads, Viking names turn heads.

Zaius Bonus points if your kid looks like an orangutan
Ringo Chicks dig the Beatles and dudes respect the balls it takes to keep Ringo as your first name. It's win-win.
Tecumseh Taking the name of a dead warrior is super butch.
Thunder See: Thor. Bonus points if your kid grows up to be an American Gladiator
Boner STABONE!
Hank Williams, Jr. or III, take your pick...
Lars Another Germanic name, it'll be cooler in 10-15 years when people haven't forgotten about Metallica and Lars Ulrich
Barf Bonus points if your child is a Mawg
Oscar It doesn't get much more blue collar than this, no frills and gritty.
Charlton Heston was totally badass, he was Moses and he loved guns. He was a man's man.
Nostradamus Kinda pretentious but mostly because Nostradamus was French. Unless your kid is French, he can probably pull it off...
Macintosh Somewhere between Apple Computers and Night Court lies a pretty boss name, plus your kid can go by Mac for short.
Jefferson Taking a president's last name as your first name is generally pretty rad. Other examples include: Taft, Reagan, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Eisenhower. Exceptions: Van Buren, Polk, Coolidge, Hoover, Bush.
Booger NERDS!
Axel but NOT Axl...

Slash ...much better than Axl.
Odin Another mythological name. This time it's the god of gods from the Norsemen. Odin works better than other supreme deities like Zeus (although Samuel L. Jackson pulled this off in Die Hard 3), Jupiter, Yahweh, Buddha, etc.
Bull SHANNON!
Felix Leiter or The Cat, take your pick...
Heinz Achtung - Panzer!
Hugo Victor or the Hurricane, take your pick...
Conan The Barbarian or the Late Night host, take your pick...
Bigfoot Would make for one hell of an icebreaker for job interviews and blind dates...
Mohammed You can't go wrong with the most popular name on the planet, right?
Salisbury This name conjures up images of delicious steak and Peter Gabriel's best song (yeah I know it's not spelled the same, but still...)
Nikola TESLA!
Rudolf Guliani, Hess, or the red-nosed reindeer. Take your pick...
Tobias FÜNKE!
Palmer Arnold or Robert, take your pick...
Hercules Maye a little too presumptuous for some folks, but there are plenty of other cool mythological figures to name your kid after, such as: Prometheus, Mars, Chiron, Achilles, etc

Dauber DYBINSKI!
Euclid There were a ton of Greek Mathematicians with bitchin' names. Here are a few: Ptolemy, Archimedes, Nicomachus, etc.
Ari If James Bond were a Jew his name would be Ari
Boba FETT!
Biff TANNEN!
Robot Dudes appreciate robots. A kid with this name would get mad respect.
Jeeves Bonus points if butlery runs in the family.
Vishnu The Destroyer!
Socrates Greek names are usually pretty bad ass. Example: Aristotle, Plato, Diogenes, etc.
Meriweather Admittedly fruity but if it's good enough for one half of Lewis and Clark isn't it good enough for your punk kid?
Bradford Bonus points if you are blue blooded New England Ivy Leaguers
Hobart TASMANIA!
Orenthal James Not as cool as it used to be, in fact there is probably a better combination of named to give your kid the nickname OJ
Luther Van Dam, Vandross or King, Martin, take your pick...

Lowell MATHER!
Beaver JERRY MATHER!
Balki BARTOKOMOUS!
Guido Bonus points if you are Italian.
Brisco COUNTY JR!
Wolfgang Naming your kid after a famous composer usually works pretty good. Example: Wagner, Amadeus, Ludwig, Vivaldi, Gottlieb, Rossini, etc
Cash Johnny or Money, take your pick...
Luigi Bonus points if you have twins and named the other one Mario. Similarly Castor and Pollux or Romulus and Remus
Hooch Pretty much any slang for alcohol would make a cool name. "I'd like you to meet my son, Moonshine..."
Smokey Buford T. Justice, Junior Justice or the Bear, take your pick...
Bandit Burt Reynolds or Johnny Quest's dog, take your pick...
Bowser Might not go over well with folks too old or too lame to have played Mario Bros.
Magnus Another old school Viking/Dark Ages name. Barbarians simply had butch names, what more can I say?

Judge Reinhold or Dredd, take your pick...
Tex Bonus points if you have a history of cowboys in your family. Only valid in the southwest and mountain states, otherwise it's just douchey.
Dumpy See Chongo
Indiana Indiana Jones is the best example, but taking the name of a State works in some cases. Other examples: Delaware, Colorado, Montana, Kentucky. Logical exceptions would be the girlie states (Florida, Georgia, Virginia, etc).
Gustavus ADOLPHUS!
Cornelius Another old school name and one that also showed up in Planet of the Apes. As a rule of thumb, any name used in Planet of the Apes is pretty boss. Except for Bright Eyes, that's just emo.
Atom Kinda like Adam but better. Bonus points for the package.

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