Alright, who sent a memo to all the soccer moms and hipsters telling them it's cool to wear plastic shoes in public? These things have been around for a few years now but recently I've noticed that everyone has a pair of Crocs. Supposedly this monochrome petroleum polymer footwear is just so awesome that no one realizes they look like a retard while wearing them. And I don't mean a retard in the popular you're-acting-like-a-fool sense, but rather I mean retard in the actual mentally-retarded sense. Whenever I see someone wearing Crocs in public I can't help but think they've escaped from someone's protective supervision and they're on the lam, only they don't realize that they won't get very far because they are wearing plastic shoes...Put a real pair of shoes on you hippie
When did real shoes become less cool than Crocs? I never got this memo, and if I did I probably would have scoffed at it. Real shoes are vastly superior to Crocs in every way imaginable. Here are a few example:- Real shoes aren't plastic: Good luck wearing Crocs to a foundry...
- Real shoes come in colors found in nature: I've only ever seen Crocs that were bright neon colors (pink, purple, yellow, etc) and they are usually scuffed and dirty.
- Crocs are just clogs, there is nothing revolutionary about clogs: The Dutch have been making Crocs for at least a thousand years and they are smart enough to realize the novelty of clogs and market them to stupid tourists.
- Real shoes have laces: Why would you want to wear an oversized shoe that you can't even keep from slipping off. And don't tell me "but there is a plastic strap that goes around the ankle..." because I've never seen anyone wear that, it's always open-back all the way baby! <liam>
Just last week I was flying home from a business trip. On the airplane I was seated next to a hambeast wearing a couch-cover sized "Property of St. Louis Cardinals Athletics Dept." shirt (which was ironic for a number of reasons), knee length sweat pants and Crocs. I'm guessing that this airline didn't have the rule where you have to buy an extra seat if your ass is too big to be contained by the arm rests... either that or she bullshitted her way out of buying the seat next to her because we were totally rubbing thighs for an hour and a half while she inhaled one granola bar after another at thirty thousand feet. But back to the Crocs... Now, I realize a female hambeast such as this, with a couple kids in tow, can't be expected to put forth any effort to try and look presentable. It's a lost cause really. But like so much Christmas presents, it's the thought the counts. This lady's crocs and gym socks combo just reinforced my initial thought when I saw her, which was, "I wish wild predators were allowed to roam places like airports and malls." Hear me out: If hungry lions were on the prowl in the terminal at the airport people would think twice about wearing Crocs and flip-flops while they travel. You aren't going to out run anyone with either... No one is going to out run a determined lion carrying luggage anyways, but you really only have to out run the elderly and the morons wearing Crocs. Lions are lazy, they'll pick off the slowest of the heard. In this case it means your Crocs will be the death of you, and I think that's fair. If you're at the point in your life that you don't feel shamed by wearing shit like that in public then you obviously have nothing worthwhile to live for.
So... judging from this article, you must be completely opposed to any form of stiletto or other sexy woman-footwear???? And who goes to the beach to actually move fast at all? Whatever happened to relaxing? Are we that paranoid that we always have to be poised to run now?
You think that /real shoes/ have shoelaces? The last time I have seen anyone with any fashion sense at all wear SHOELACES it was at the gym or on a pair of $500 italian leather shoes that are more decoration than /real/.
Not that I don't disagree with you... crocs are hideous. However, judging my all this you must be some paranoid fashion-blind lesbian.
They are great when I'm walking the dog!
All I wear are clogs but not that garbage...
Agreed ... I fucking hate those stupid shoes. And he's right, Crocs and flip-flops make you look like the worst kind of slacker retard.
Agreed, only asshats, retards and douchebags wear crocks...
Well I don't care what you all say they are the most comfortable shoes i've ever worn. I work in a hospital where i am on my feet for 12-18 hours a day, and tennis shoes just don't cut it. They are just shoes. WTF did they do to you? NOTHING!
Seriously, you wear this shit in a professional setting? I hope you a patient dies because you can't get to the operating room fast enough because your stupid fucking plastic children's shoes slipped off. GROW UP AND LEARN TO WEAR REAL FOOTWEAR!!