Submitted by Naomarik (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:48.
Likewise. I'm going to make an inference based on what I see on the book cover: the non-"true" Christians have a problem sodomizing trees (like the Catholic Church and little boys) and contracting the "Dutch Elm Disease," an STD that causes your member to start splintering. Thus when the infected one has sex something other than a tree, the receiving end gets painful splinters of wood that have to be extracted with a skillful hand and tweezers.
Submitted by v3rwa (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:49.
I had sex with a tree once - I don't know why you make such a big deal out of it. I can't help it had a sexy bush.
Anyways... the tree was at least 100 years old.
Submitted by parl (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:51.
I went to the JW website and looked in the archives of Watchtower. Did not find that article. I expect that this pic is a composite of various things. I'm no apologist for JW, but this is just silly. If anyone has a copy of the presumptive issue, perhaps a link to some scanned ARTICLE pages would be more persuasive.
Submitted by ceramufary (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:51.
I happen to have a Watchtower right here (it includes an article 'Is Evolution Compatible with The Bible' that I just had to read) and in point of fact, they use serifed fonts on their cover -- none of this Helvetica bullshit that the photoshopper used. ^_^
Submitted by blahblah98 (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:54.
Fake. Could be Dutch, but clearly not an elm.
Now if it were, it'd be different.
And while Dutch elms can contract disease, at least they can avoid death by changing nationalities.
Converting religions wouldn't do it, after all, it's not "Heretic elm disease."
Submitted by stilljosh (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 19:57.
This issue of The Watchtower really made me examine the relationship I've been having with the Douglas Fir next door. We haven't yet taken it to the next level, but now I'm really worried that God isn't going to let me in live on a Paradise Earth if we do. But I really love the fir and want feel like God should not have made me have these feelings if he didn't want me to act one them. What should I do?
Submitted by hyperbad (not verified) on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 20:02.
I have questions. Do they believe you can actually catch Dutch Elm disease? Is this a front page article that essentially is an editorial piece of the dangers of man-on-tree fornication? Is this a common problem with Jehovah witnesses? and most importantly: Where in the bible does it say i can't fuck a tree!?
Submitted by notjawn (not verified) on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 11:24.
haha what? Although I do love J-dub's and their visits near every major holiday you know just to remind you how shitty of a person you are for wanting to celebrate.
Submitted by diggernaught (not verified) on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 11:25.
I am still waiting to see if this is real, just waiting to witness some proof, just waiting around. Anytime now, still waiting, is that, oh nope. waiting..... Theres Jahova! ooops that was Waldo.
I am thoroughly confused by this.
Likewise. I'm going to make an inference based on what I see on the book cover: the non-"true" Christians have a problem sodomizing trees (like the Catholic Church and little boys) and contracting the "Dutch Elm Disease," an STD that causes your member to start splintering. Thus when the infected one has sex something other than a tree, the receiving end gets painful splinters of wood that have to be extracted with a skillful hand and tweezers.
I had sex with a tree once - I don't know why you make such a big deal out of it. I can't help it had a sexy bush.
Anyways... the tree was at least 100 years old.
I'm not a tree. I'm an Ent!
Dendrophelia, interesting... Watch out for splinters, ouch!
Rule 34? Aw, hell noes...
I went to the JW website and looked in the archives of Watchtower. Did not find that article. I expect that this pic is a composite of various things. I'm no apologist for JW, but this is just silly. If anyone has a copy of the presumptive issue, perhaps a link to some scanned ARTICLE pages would be more persuasive.
I think the sub-heading has been pasted on.
Surely it would be set in title-case not lowercase.
I happen to have a Watchtower right here (it includes an article 'Is Evolution Compatible with The Bible' that I just had to read) and in point of fact, they use serifed fonts on their cover -- none of this Helvetica bullshit that the photoshopper used. ^_^
What was the concluding summary ?
Unfortunately, no.
Don't bother looking for it. You just have to have FAITH that it exists.
What I came here to say. What the heck does this mean?? I mean--it's religion, so should I even bother looking for rationality?
Never look for rationality in badly photshopped (looks like MSpainted since its badly aliased) magazine covers.
Fake. Could be Dutch, but clearly not an elm.
Now if it were, it'd be different.
And while Dutch elms can contract disease, at least they can avoid death by changing nationalities.
Converting religions wouldn't do it, after all, it's not "Heretic elm disease."
This issue of The Watchtower really made me examine the relationship I've been having with the Douglas Fir next door. We haven't yet taken it to the next level, but now I'm really worried that God isn't going to let me in live on a Paradise Earth if we do. But I really love the fir and want feel like God should not have made me have these feelings if he didn't want me to act one them. What should I do?
Personally, I think you should branch out in your sexual exploration.
His post gave me wood.
I thought that beech was a fine piece of ash.
Damn. Now I have to find out what the hell this is about.
Damn. Now I have to find out what the hell this is about.
Yeah, that I know about, it's the immorality part I'm not getting.
Is that the only reason they could think of? Jeez.
I have questions. Do they believe you can actually catch Dutch Elm disease? Is this a front page article that essentially is an editorial piece of the dangers of man-on-tree fornication? Is this a common problem with Jehovah witnesses? and most importantly: Where in the bible does it say i can't fuck a tree!?
check the date ppl, 2063!!
IMMORALITY WITH WITH TREES IS IMMORAL, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!
haha what? Although I do love J-dub's and their visits near every major holiday you know just to remind you how shitty of a person you are for wanting to celebrate.
I am still waiting to see if this is real, just waiting to witness some proof, just waiting around. Anytime now, still waiting, is that, oh nope. waiting..... Theres Jahova! ooops that was Waldo.
I'm pretty sure Jahova hangs out with Jeebus.