Perhaps a better title would be "Is Metallica still relevant?" but that begs the question of whether they were ever really relevant to begin with... Metallica used to be a big deal, I mean c'mon... they did Enter Sandman and One, sure it's been fifteen years since they've released what most people would consider a 'good' album, but whatever. Anyone who was in middle school or high school in the nineties probably has fond memories of Metallica. Everyone knew who they were and when the Napster shit hit the fan it felt like the end of an era... probably the same sort of mass <liam> that took place when Load came out. And if you cashed out before that, just replace Load with the black album... I guess what I'm getting at is that Metallica is more than a band, they are an institution. It doesn't matter whether or not Metallica's future albums are complete shit or not. People will still buy their music, if only to criticize it on the internet. Metallica will always have fans out there and if they manage to release a decent record along the way it's just a bonus for the rest of us.
Depending on who you ask, Metallica owes us two or three good albums. If you own copies of St. Anger, Reload, S&M, Garage Inc. or even Load you might feel like you're entitled to at very least an apology. Personally, I liked Load, Reload was shit and so was Garage Inc. I always hated the cover of Garage Inc. It's like they had a band therapy session and that white Cliff Huxtable was like, "The best way for you to cope with your feelings as a collective unit is to dress up like complete douche bags and pose for a totally hardcore photo shoot outside of a muffler shop." Who do they think they are? More importantly perhaps is, who do they think their fans are? Who is going to look at the cover of Garage Inc. and be like, "These bro dawgs totally get me, I put in 14 hours a day at Jiffy Lube only to come home to my ungrateful harpy of a wife. My only release is to crack open a brewski and kick back while I crank up Whiskey in the Jar on the Hi-Fi." There are probably a fair number of those douche bags out there, but seriously Garage Inc. sucked.
The Law of Averages
Metallica has been around for a while. They've released more than a few albums. The law of averages says that if they keep releasing new material then they are bound to stumble across a few songs that are good. Now, I wasn't a statistics major in college but I'd have to say that Metallica may be due for a non-shit album release pretty soon (so long as album releases and a game of craps play by the same rules). Well, Death Magnetic is Metallica's latest album, maybe it'll be the non-shit album we've all been waiting so long for. What? You haven't heard of Death Magnetic? Oh that's probably because Metallica pulled a 'Metallica v. Napster' and shut up everyone who was talking about the album before it's release. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Metallica will let me talk about the album so here it goes: Death Magnetic ain't that bad, it's kinda good.Has Metallica managed to do what seemed so impossible just 5 years ago? Unless you were living these last five years in a shack that doesn't get VH1, you've probably seen Some Kind of Monster at least seven times. This movie shined a very bright light on what kind of horrible whiney bitches James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Bob Rock, Kirk Hammett and their psychiatrist are. Some Kind of Monster is over two hours of incessant crybaby complaining that results when you get, who I can only assume, are the four biggest douche bags in rock music together in a mutlimillion dollar studio and give them all the time in the world to come up with ten tracks that don't suck balls. Anyone that has listened to St. Anger knows that every track on that album sucks liberal amounts of balls. So what went wrong? Fame, (im)maturity, money? Who knows... but I shit you not, these assholes convinced themselves it would be a good idea to hire a therapist, which is fitting since they complain about each others' shit so much they might as well be married to each other. There are plenty of painfully awkward scenes where record label representatives stop by and listen to a few tracks from the album and they have to bullshit their way around letting anyone know how much money this project has lost. The shame of it all is that Metallica probably recouped all investments by touring and therefore not learning one goddamned thing. Further proving their douche baggery.
But enough about how the Metallica guys act like a bunch of bitches. Let's get back to Death Magnetic. Like I said before, Death Magnetic isn't a bad album. I've listened to it about four and a half times now. I'm not sure it's an album I'll be listening to a month from now, or even a week from now. I can say that this album is much better than Garage Inc. and St. Anger. Death Magnetic has a completely retarded name, just like St. Anger, but it doesn't have it's head stuck firmly up it's ass like Reload (go back and listen to Reload if that doesn't make any sense to you). Death Magnetic isn't all rainbow farts and unicorns though, there are a few turds on this album. The worst song on here has to be the final track, My Apocalypse. This song reminds me a lot of St. Anger, which is not a compliment. Lars plays a retarded and annoying beat on his snare the whole freaking time while James is all "Oooh WAAHAA! My-oh Apock-oh-lips-AH!" and to make it even worse, this is the song with the title line. I also didn't care too much for the first track, the melody is broken by James and Lars 'kicking it up a notch' and speeding up the song to the point where it sounds like they are just trying too hard. It sounds forced.
My favorite track on here would have to be Suicide & Redemption. This track happens to be an instrumental, which isn't to say that I hate James Hetfield's voice, I just like this song. Cyanide is another good track, it's a little cheesy, but fun. The Unforgiven III is another song worth listening to. I'm sure this song will either make or break the album for most people. If you are a Metallica purest then you'll probably use this as your opportunity to talk about how Metallica is shitting all over their legacy. If you aren't a fanatic about Metallica then you'll probably like this track, it's pretty decent. Other than those few tracks, there is a fair amount of filler on this album. It's easy to lose track of where you are while listening through the album as The Judas Kiss, Broken, Beat & Scarred and All Nightmare Long pretty much all sound the same. It also doesn't help that all but one of the tracks on this album are over six and a half minutes long. Does anyone really need a 10 minute long Metallica song? Even if it is the best track on the album? That's definitely a debate for another day...
Sir, as long as people keep talking about Metallica, good or bad, they'll remain relevant. That's part of what makes "anything" relevant. Good day.
This guy doesn't really seem to know all that much. I've got the record, albeit illegally, and while it's not Puppets, nor could anything ever be, It's a damn fine record song-wise, production-wise, it falls short, but still doesn't suck.
Metallica is metal again. My Apocalypse could've easily been on Kill'em All. "End of the Line" could've been written by Testament. Some people can never be satisfied. It strikes me as odd that people who always bash Metallica can never seem to STOP talking about them.
it actually is pretty good...music has changed since the 80's and early 90's. We wont be getting another gem like Master, or Justice. Still, there's no reason to say that this album kinda sucks. I've been jamming it for few days now and its metal
Metallica, OOOH YEAH HEAH!!!
I had an early ahem 'screen' of this album and I agree somewhat with this review. It's the best effort since Justice. That doesn't speak volumes, though. Kudos to them 'allowing' Kirk to do some solos on this album. It makes a huge difference. James sounds horrid. He's caught between singing and screaming and can't do either very well. He's an old man.
At the end of the day we are listening to old man millionaire metal. It's technically good, but the metal soul that should be in the songs is gone. I don't think that's something they can recapture at this point.
"At the end of the day we are listening to old man millionaire metal..."
No kidding. I mean has anyone else seen Lars Ulrich lately?:
Way to editorialize in the headline, subby.
I've been a Metallica fan since the 80's. Ride the Lightning, ...And Justice For All and Master of Puppets are phenomenal, ground-breaking works of art. The Black Album signaled a change in style, but it was still great.
Having solidified themselves in music history, the band started to experiment. Unfortunately, their later albums were rejected by many fans. It was still good music, it just wasn't Metallica.
A friend of mine is fond of drawing a comparison between Godfather 3 and the later Metallica albums: if you weren't expecting so much because of the earlier works, the later iterations would have been well-received.
Either way, I like the singles I've heard so far. It may not be the Metallica of old, but it's a fine effort.
Plus, they put on one hell of a concert.
"Who do they think they are? More importantly perhaps is, who do they think their fans are? Who is going to look at the cover of Garage Inc. and be like, "These bro dawgs totally get me, I put in 14 hours a day at Jiffy Lube only to come home to my ungrateful harpy of a wife. My only release is to crack open a brewski and kick back while I crank up Whiskey in the Jar on the Hi-Fi." There are probably a fair number of those douche bags out there, but seriously Garage Inc. sucked."
Priceless.